The growing number of overweight people is putting strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum. To what extend do you agree?
In
this
time, the problems which increase a rapidly
population of overweight Change the adverb
rapid
people
causes
for the health care system, many Change the verb form
cause
people
advocate that the kay
to solving Correct your spelling
key
this
issue is to do more sports
game in fitness
club and exercise in schools. I completely agree that Add an article
a fitness
thus
best way for Correct your spelling
this
improve
healthy Change the verb form
improving
life
and avoided the issue of bad health in relation with
weight.
Change preposition
to
Firstly
, dealing with the issues surrounding obesity and over weight
problem that Correct your spelling
overweight
happen
when the many Change the verb form
happens
people
going wrong with style life
eating. In addition
, the best solving
for those cases when we Replace the word
solution
are care
about do athletics and exercise practice Change the verb form
care
on
Change preposition
in
sports
club. Because of Correct article usage
a sports
this
, that is
will growing new generation with the better healthier and will not moving
into Change the form of the verb
move
bad
habit Add an article
a bad
that is
affect
in Correct your spelling
effect
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
life
. For instance
, at this
time elders and youngster
have many problems with their style pattern, if the community Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
center
and government decided to improve Change the spelling
centre
quality
of Correct article usage
the quality
life
for people
by spread awareness for impact sports
exercise in their bodies as well as for enhance
their children healthy.
Change the verb form
enhancing
Secondly
, schools play an important role in this
issue, because the pupils are interaction with other kids more time rather than in their home. Therefore
, the reason for administration
of schools is important by adding more Correct article usage
the administration
sports
classes into the school curriculum, as well as encouraging their students to participate in many extra-curriculum activities that will be enhance
Change the verb form
enhance
lifestyle
for kids. Add an article
the lifestyle
Therefore
, parents will be a
role Correct article usage
apply
model
when encourage their children to do activities that will Fix the agreement mistake
models
be increase
public health.
In conclusion, to deal with an increasing Change the verb form
increase
an increasing
population and overweight Remove the redundancy
apply
people
changing the lifestyle that will be produce
new generation Change the verb form
be producing
awareness
for Change preposition
of awareness
sport
Change the noun form
sports
life
and impact
Correct article usage
the impact
that is
in life
.Submitted by arch.mohammedzaki on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.