It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Engineering is the most male-dominated field in the world. It may perhaps be the most male-dominated profession in Sri Lanka, with women making up only a mere 1% of the engineering workforce. Many scholars have found that female students do as well or better than male students in schools, but often point to the hegemonic masculine culture of engineering itself as a reason for leaving.
However
Linking Words
, despite how I
am treated
Change the verb form
have treated
show examples
in gender stereotypical ways, mostly by my peers, I am always trying to stand out from the crowd. My family is an extended family, and most of our relations are living in the
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
while I am being the only girl among the children. Because all my cousins were men, I learned how to compete with them by mastering skills not only related to education but
also
Linking Words
related to life that are necessary for surviving in society. My passion for engineering became
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
an engineer, and within a short period of
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
I was able to promote to a senior position
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
involves not only engineering but
also
Linking Words
managing people.
This
Linking Words
is where I faced many difficulties as most of the people that I get to manage were much older men than me and had greater experience in their fields. At
first
Linking Words
, they did not want to follow my orders as the supervisor, yet I found a way to get them onto my path. I tried to get close to them by solving issues related to
work
Change the verb form
working
show examples
that they faced every day, and eventually I learned to listen to them, which brought a greater impact when moving as a team. I made myself
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a listener and I appreciated my teammates for their achievements and initiatives they have taken on behalf of
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
well being, regardless of how small they were, yet they started trusting me and even following me. Other than my carrier, I am a director of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
company
Use synonyms
owned by my husband where I have responsibilities mostly related to human resources management including recruiting. In
this
Linking Words
role, I always try to put myself as a transformational leader because I value employee
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
and I want our
company
Use synonyms
to succeed through
inspired
Correct article usage
an inspired
show examples
as well as
motivated
Add an article
a motivated
the motivated
show examples
team. Currently, as a
company
Use synonyms
, we serve more than 700 local clients and 300 international clients. Even though most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add a hyphen
larger-scale
show examples
larger
Correct article usage
the larger
show examples
scale companies lost their income with the Covid-19 pandemic, we managed to stay in the business and help our employees to cope with the situation. I have been working in the director position
from
Change preposition
since
show examples
2016, and I have been dealing with many challenges as a daughter, a wife, an engineer and as a director. Though I feel that I am successful with
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
balance, yet I strongly trust that there are much more to learn and I always try to find answers to the question “is there a better way?”.
Therefore
Linking Words
, strongly trust that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
I can master
management
Correct article usage
the management
show examples
skills that are offered at your institution, and I will be able
perform
Add the particle
to perform
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
standard and give a better outcome to stakeholders. To conclude, I’m keen to earn an MBA at the University Canada West and become one of the best engineering entrepreneurs in the field.
Submitted by anjana.dreamhomes on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fertility
  • Maternal health
  • Psychological stability
  • Social maturity
  • Economic benefits
  • Shared responsibilities
  • Ancestral customs
  • Cultural imperatives
  • Personal development
  • Career establishment
  • Societal norms
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Divorce rates
  • Life decisions
  • Subjective wellbeing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: