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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People have little understanding of the importance of the natural world, what are the reasons and how can people learn more about the natural world?

The natural
world
Use synonyms
 has
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 important paper in our lives but the majority of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have a small understanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 it. Since we are part of
this
Linking Words
 natural environment,
Change the pronoun
we
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us
Correct your spelling
as
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 human beings are losing the understanding and the
importance
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 we have about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
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.
Therefore
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,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
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 paper will
discussed
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discuss
be discussed
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 and outlined the reasons
people
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 have little understanding about the natural
world
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. As same as how they can learn more about
this
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 topic.
As a result
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, there are many reasons why
people
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 have little understanding of the
importance
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 of the natural
world
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.
Therefore
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, the
first
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 one would be the
increase
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increased
show examples
 usage of technology by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humanity. It is not only ship-based technology. Actually,
this
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changing
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change
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 began in
england
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England
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 in the industrial revolution, when
people
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 start migrating from their farms to cities to work in factories,
consequently
Linking Words
 losing their contact with the natural
world
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.
Nevertheless
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, these changes that happened in the
england
Change the capitalization
England
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 more than one hundred years ago, had a deep impact
in
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on
show examples
people
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 losing their contact with
nature
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. Today, in the
Add a hyphen
twenty-first
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twenty
Add a hyphen
twenty-first
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first
Linking Words
 century
people
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 living
at
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in
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 the city do not know how to prepare
a
Correct article usage
apply
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natural medicine, since they do not have
directly
Replace the word
direct
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 contact with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature
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. Their lives are no longer leaned to the natural
world
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, but to the technological one. Since it is happening,
people
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 are suffering
with
Change the preposition
from
show examples
 their health and
also
Linking Words
 are
distroying
Correct your spelling
destroying
this
Linking Words
 natural environment.
Therefore
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, there are not many things that can be done by the
people
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 themselves, since they are not aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the
importance
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 of
this
Linking Words
 understanding. Actually, it is more a
governamental
Correct your spelling
governmental
 issue,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which could make their society more aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 understanding.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 who already know
this
Linking Words
importance
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about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the natural
world
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 should teach others the
importance
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 it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to their lives. As mentioned before, governments could teach their society with
Add an article
an advertisement
the advertisement
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advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
 in different media channels, teaching them the
importance
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 and advantages they would have knowing more about
nature
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, it might be hard for
people
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 to be more aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the natural
world
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 if they are far from
this
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 environment. The best way it can be done is
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the help of their government and those who already know
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
 and teach them what they should know.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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