IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #support #artists #painters #musicians #alternative #sources
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People
Use synonyms
 have different views about the funding of creative
artists
Use synonyms
. While some
people
Use synonyms
 agree with the idea of
government
Use synonyms
support
Use synonyms
 for
artists
Use synonyms
, I hold a belief that
artists
Use synonyms
 should receive funding from other sources. Admittedly, many
people
Use synonyms
 are of the belief that funding for
artists
Use synonyms
 by the
government
Use synonyms
 is necessary. Indeed, many works of
art
Use synonyms
 that represent national culture, heritage and history need to be preserved. That requires help from the state to give financial
support
Use synonyms
 to
artists
Use synonyms
 to create these kinds of
art
Use synonyms
, contributing to
raise
Change the verb form
raising
show examples
 awareness of
people
Use synonyms
 about the national
identity
Use synonyms
 and their roots.
Moreover
Linking Words
, due to showing the national
identity
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 kind of
art
Use synonyms
 is a contributing factor to attract more tourists who are curious about alliance culture. In fact, national cultural characteristics shown through works of
art
Use synonyms
 are the foundation to
greater
Add an article
a greater
show examples
 appreciation for cultural diversity and acceptance of the differences among countries that contribute to tourism development.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I
support
Use synonyms
 the idea that
artists
Use synonyms
 should not expect the state to fund their work.
Artists
Use synonyms
 are able to be financially independent when earning money by performing or selling their artistic creations.
Besides
Linking Words
, funding from sponsorships can be another financial source for the artist to preserve and produce more of their artistic creations representing national
identity
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, there is no need for the artist to expect financial
support
Use synonyms
 from the
government
Use synonyms
. That enables
government
Use synonyms
 funding to invest equally in other fields
such
Linking Words
 as education and healthcare, contributing to facilitating living conditions and fulfilling national development. In conclusion, it is true that the
government
Use synonyms
 should invest in
Use synonyms
art
Add an article
the art
show examples
 to conserve national
identity
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I still believe that self-earning and getting sponsorship is possible for
artists
Use synonyms
 to develop their artistic creations.
Submitted by nguyenthuytien1609 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: