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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays more and more older people compete with younger people for the same jobs. What can be the reason for this? What would you suggest as a solution?

#people #jobs #reason
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Competition for applying for
jobs
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 is relevant today. There is
limited
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a limited
the limited
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 number of
job
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 places for
people
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 who want a
job
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 in order to make
money
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.
In these
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These
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 days, older individuals are
also
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 going for
job
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 applications making competition with younger
people
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. The reason for
this
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 is that aged
people
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 have higher chances than youngsters and they want to earn as much
money
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 as they can that they can
spent
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spend
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 more
money
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 on their vacations in their
last
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 stage of lives. I believe that
possible
Correct article usage
a possible
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 solution for
this
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 problem is changing the
pension
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age
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.
Job
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 applications are needed to pick the best employees. Usually, only several
people
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 are chosen from
the
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apply
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all
people
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 that requested for
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job
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the job
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. Nowadays, more and more older
people
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 are applying for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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jobs
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 and despite the fact that almost every workplace searches for younger
people
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, their chances are very high in comparison with youngsters, because aged
people
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 have experience. Results of research in the USA showed that 50% of new employees in some particular
job
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 places are
people
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 who reached the
age
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 of 45.  Obviously, almost every person wants more
money
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 and older
people
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 are no exception. In
this
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 period of their lives, when they are going for rest, they want to earn as much
money
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 as possible in order to have good vacation days.
Thus
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, some aged
people
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 are going for searching
jobs
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 that fit them and have a big salary which leads to rivalry with young
people
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. Changing the
age
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 of retiring can possibly solve
this
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 problem. Letting older
people
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 for
pension
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 earlier gives them the needed
money
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 and allows the younger generation to have fewer rivals and gain experience. Aged
people
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 can have more guaranteed time and
money
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 for their vacations while more young
people
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 can apply for
jobs
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.
For example
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, in China, some particular
jobs
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 have a
pension
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age
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 of 42 and there are more youngsters in comparison with other
jobs
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. To conclude, there are a lot of aged
people
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 who are trying to apply for
jobs
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 with the purpose of making more
money
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 and they are taking the places of young
people
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. Changing the
pension
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age
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 can solve
this
Linking Words
 problem by giving older
people
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 their desired
money
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 and the younger generation their
jobs
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.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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