Nowadays more and more older people compete with younger people for the same jobs. What can be the reason for this? What would you suggest as a solution?

#people #jobs #reason

Competition for applying for

jobs

is relevant today. There is

limited

Change the article

a limited

the limited

show examples

number of

job

places for

people

who want a

job

in order to make

money

In these

Change preposition

These

show examples

days, older individuals are

also

going for

job

applications making competition with younger

people

. The reason for

this

is that aged

people

have higher chances than youngsters and they want to earn as much

money

as they can that they can

spent

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

money

on their vacations in their

last

stage of lives. I believe that

possible

Correct article usage

a possible

show examples

solution for

this

problem is changing the

pension

age

Job

applications are needed to pick the best employees. Usually, only several

people

are chosen from

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

all

people

that requested for

job

Add an article

the job

show examples

. Nowadays, more and more older

people

are applying for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

jobs

and despite the fact that almost every workplace searches for younger

people

, their chances are very high in comparison with youngsters, because aged

people

have experience. Results of research in the USA showed that 50% of new employees in some particular

job

places are

people

who reached the

age

of 45.  Obviously, almost every person wants more

money

and older

people

are no exception. In

this

period of their lives, when they are going for rest, they want to earn as much

money

as possible in order to have good vacation days.

Thus

, some aged

people

are going for searching

jobs

that fit them and have a big salary which leads to rivalry with young

people

. Changing the

age

of retiring can possibly solve

this

problem. Letting older

people

for

pension

earlier gives them the needed

money

and allows the younger generation to have fewer rivals and gain experience. Aged

people

can have more guaranteed time and

money

for their vacations while more young

people

can apply for

jobs

For example

, in China, some particular

jobs

have a

pension

age

of 42 and there are more youngsters in comparison with other

jobs

. To conclude, there are a lot of aged

people

who are trying to apply for

jobs

with the purpose of making more

money

and they are taking the places of young

people

. Changing the

pension

age

can solve

this

problem by giving older

people

their desired

money

and the younger generation their

jobs

Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on Wed Oct 13 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

373 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays more and more older people compete with younger people for the same jobs. What can be the reason for this? What would you suggest as a solution?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays many young people leave home at an early age and live in a city. Why do you think they move to cities? Do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages for young people?

To learn effecrively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?

Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors in major sports competition such as Olympic Games and football World Cup etc. It is better to spend money encouraging children take up sports at a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?