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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #music #impact #effect
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Some people claim that contemporary
music
Use synonyms
 has issues on the youth generation whereas others think the opposite and defend the benefits of
Change the verb form
listening
show examples
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
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music
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides of
this
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 situation and explain the reasons why
music
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 has more pros than cons
in
Change preposition
for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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teenagers. Listening
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music
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to music
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 is good for all ages because it can change our mood quick and bring different emotions. The youth people have been
overestimulated
Correct your spelling
overstimulated
overestimated
 for many devices and they have had some issues with tasks that required concentration. Lo-fi beats,
for example
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, can regulate the heartbeats and
breathing
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breathe
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 in a way that helps to keep
focus
Add an article
the focus
show examples
 on one task for many hours.
Therefore
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,
this
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 type of
music
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 could be very helpful nowadays with attention disorders, which becomes more and more common among teens. Another beneficial example in the kids is the lyrics because it is a kind of poem with a message
behind
Correct pronoun usage
itbehind
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. For many years,
music
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 teaches through its stories about culture, experiences and impressions of the world.
Therefore
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 style, lyrics and rhythm are always changing to adapt to the new generation of listeners or keeping
Add an article
the
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memory alive.
On the other hand
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, it is not all songs that we can consider beneficial for youngs. In
this
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 phase of life, they are still figuring out their characters and personalities and some noise as referred to as
music
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, could not be good for them.
For example
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, Brazilian funk is very popular among
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
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 and teens,
however
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, the lyrics are always
incentiviting
Correct your spelling
incentivizing
incentivising
 to commit crimes, rape women and consume drugs.
Therefore
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, if I had a teen close to me, I would never allow him to listen
Change preposition
to those
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those kind
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
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 of
music
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. In my opinion,
music
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 is extremely good and could help in different moments in life, especially for our kids; but requires
attention
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the attention
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 of the parents to overseas what type of
music
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 their children are listening
.
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to.
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 To conclude,
music
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 has by far and large more benefits than problems to influence young people because it can change emotions or tell experiences, even though some type of
music
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 could have a negative impact.
Submitted by lele on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • lifestyles and behaviours
  • glorify
  • distract
  • academic performance
  • self-expression
  • identity formation
  • source of inspiration
  • social and political messages
  • amplifying
  • accessible
  • influential
  • parental and educational guidance
  • critically analyze
  • responsible consumption
  • mitigate
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