These days, an increasing number of people in many cities know little about their neighbors and do not have a sense of community. What do you think are the causes and what solutions can you suggest?

#people #cities #neighbors #sense #community

It is true that many

population

Change to a plural noun

populations

show examples

are not knowing their neighbours in a particular

neighborhood

Change the spelling

neighbourhood

show examples

However

,the main reason was that the people are watching entertainment and spending less social life. In my opinion, the government has to conduct activities which are indoor and outdoor so that it can benefit the public in a positive manner.In

this

essay, I will discuss the different outcomes and possible solutions for in

participation

Add an article

the participation

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of members in one society. The

first

and foremost reason is the humans are busy scheduled in work life as they believe that entertaining with media is the only way to relax and

stress-free

Add a missing verb

be stress-free

show examples

For instance

, T.v, mobile and radio are three features for all ages because of the attraction of the latest applications.

Secondly

,streaming services and live t.v channels are more popularised as they have the opportunity to watch the programmes in travel time and free office hours.

Lastly

this

impact has negatively affect on person's health and food habits because of less interaction with the nation of the community.

Furthermore

,sports channels

also

increased as free entertainment and less usage of gyms and exercising by

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

community.

on the other hand

,Higher authorities need to concern and encourage youth in participation of

society

Replace the word

social

show examples

activities

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

sports clubs,badminton and yoga.

However

this

recreation can help the human population communicating with each other and maintain positive relationships.

Moreover

,today condos and residential buildings are providing extra facilities with

this

help the public in physical and social development. In conclusion,to attain social life elders in the society has to mingle with others who are living in the same people because

this

can help them to know each other and develop physical and mental health.

Submitted by ar050682 on Thu Oct 14 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sense of community
neighbors
interaction
communication
busy and fast-paced lifestyles
technology
social media
community events
neighborhood watch programs
community centers
clubs
block parties
potluck dinners
online platforms
engagement
sense of belonging
inclusivity

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These days, an increasing number of people in many cities know little about their neighbors and do not have a sense of community. What do you think are the causes and what solutions can you suggest?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Water pollution has been an increasing problem over the last few decades . what causes water pllution? How can we prevent the problem ?

Nowadays, many buildings such as offices and schools have open-space designs. Do you think this is a positive on negative development?

Development in technology leads to environmental problems and some people think that the solution to these problems is for everyone to lead a simpler way of life, while others say that technology can solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.