IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era , few people believe that a
person
Use synonyms
 should achieve success from her hard work and firm determination . while the rest of the people believe that to succeed in life the most important factor is money and physical appearance . I think that
person
Use synonyms
 can achieve success with the help of both manners. On one hand, persons with firm determination and hard work should achieve a higher position in their field in their life . when a
person
Use synonyms
 starts a
company
Use synonyms
 and by some time he/she finds that her
company
Use synonyms
 is making a loss than by their effort and passion among his profession make the loss-making
company
Use synonyms
 into profit .
for example
Linking Words
, the greatest personality name Steve Jobs founder of apple
company
Use synonyms
 he established the million dollar
company
Use synonyms
 in the garage and with
Add an article
an
the
show examples
extreme effort he make a sound
company
Use synonyms
 from it . On other hand , some famous personalities like actors or the son of any business typhoon will succeed in their life with the help of their money or by their appearance .
moreover
Linking Words
 , by having good look
person
Use synonyms
 should involve in the film industry and by their good looking these industries help her/him by a successful
person
Use synonyms
 in society . The best example of these is the famous personality name Shusant Singh Rajput make their Carrier in the film industry by their good looking face and ability of acting. To conclude, to be a successful
person
Use synonyms
 of society persons should have money and appearance along with firm determination and hard work

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • effort
  • tenacity
  • external factors
  • financial resources
  • favorable appearance
  • perceptions
  • advantages
  • intrinsic
  • extrinsic
  • sustainable
  • facilitating
  • undeniable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: