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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to set up unpaid community work, instead of just being put behid the bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prisoners #community #work #behid #bars
Jails in many countries nowadays suffer from finding spaces to deal with the largest numbers of prisoners.
Consequently
, many authorities specialize a considerable amount of the budget to build new buildings to handle
this
 problem.
However
, there are a lot of voices that urge officials to release some prisoners who could help
society
 in community services. In my perspective, I believe
this
 decision could help both the offender and
society
 as well. As a starting point, many offenders who have committed minor crimes are young
people
. Without a doubt, many of them were driven by outsider circumstances to do these illegal actions.
Hence
, the official has to show mercy toward those
people
 by directing them to do unpaid social jobs to help
society
.
In addition
 to that, the government will save a fortune which could be needed to recruit new employees.
Moreover
, that situation will make the jails are less cramped, which make dealing with the prisoner much easier than before. At the same time,
this
 social service will help in the rehabilitation of the offender by making him or her rethink his or her value in the community. Certainly, by helping the underprivileged
people
, they will embrace their lives and feel satisfied by making difference in the
people
's lives around them. So, rather than making the jail a place where bad criminals and minor offenders mix together, which could transfer these bad habits to new generations, we have to differentiate between those two proportions. Not only that will help save those younger offenders but
also
 will help the nation. To conclude, in our world many individuals reckon that the punishment system is outdated and drain a lot of resources. In my view, I totally agree that we have to rehabilitate many prisoners who commit minor offences rather than destroying their future by hiring them to help
society
 in many jobs which will make them contemplate and reconsider their actions.
Submitted by abdalla_bekheet on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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