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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many small shops are being shut down and there is an increase in big shops and supermarkets. Mention the advantages and disadvantages. What in your opinion is most appropriate. Give examples.

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Introduction
With the advent of technological
advancements
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,advancements
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 we have seen
emergence
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the emergence
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 of many big shops and supermarkets,
anddisappearance
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and disappearance
 of small shops. The smaller ones have been taken over by the bigger ones.
Body paragraph 1
Even though a
change
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 is good but the traders and vendors have lost their only financial source with the existence of the
Correct your spelling
supermarkets
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super markets
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supermarkets
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. Being naive to the changing systems they have been uprooted from their age-old
sysyen
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system
 of occupation. It's a disadvantage to the small business owners since they have lost their income source. Unlike their bigger counterparts at least the environment is not damaged because of their construction.
Body paragraph 2
On the contrary
Linking Words
, big shops and
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supermarkets
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super markets
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supermarkets
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 have given way to satiate human's materialistic inclinations. With the availabilities of various commodities under the same
roof
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,roof
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 it has become convenient for the one who purchases to have various choices. Alongside, there are various open areas created inside the
premesis
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premises
promises
 that keep us close to nature. There is ample parking area for the customer's convenience.
Also
Linking Words
, it opens doors to many employment opportunities.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would support the latter option since it's always better to embrace
change
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. History
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proves
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prooves
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proves
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 that
change
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 has always led to growth. So for the growth of economy supermarkets are a better option.
Also
Linking Words
, it ends up being more convenient. Like,
for instance
Linking Words
, prior to one of my flights for which I had to leave in four hours, for my various needs for a
month long
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month-long
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 trip I had no choice but to go to
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the super
a super
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super market
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supermarket
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. To my
surprise
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,surprise
show examples
 I got everything under one roof and I didn't have to run around much.
Hence
Linking Words
, it's invariably a good choice to support
change
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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