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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development
Nowadays, thanks to the developments in
medical
Add an article
the medical
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 field,
people
are now become
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now become
have now become
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 stronger and they are expected to live longer.
This
 phenomenon has raised
a
Correct article usage
the
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 question of whether we should
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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keep enhancing in
this
 field or not. Personally, I side with the opinion that medical care should be improved since I believe that the advantages of
this
 development surpass the disadvantages.
First
 of all, there are many positive impacts
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 improved medical services.
First
 of all,
people
 are now capable of curing many fatal diseases that we could not in the past. Back
then
, operating a surgery is extravagant and rates of success
was
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were
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 not worth mentioning. But now, many advanced machines and high-tech machines are installed for the patients
with
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at
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 a more reasonable price than before.
Moreover
, doctors nowadays are experienced and most of the time, their
diagnosis
Fix the agreement mistake
diagnoses
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 are precise so that they can give to
people
 the appropriate medicines for their conditions so they are able to live longer. But it is vital to look at both sides of the problem. The increase in life expectancy might be the main cause
to
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of
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 the increase in
unemployment
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the unemployment
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 rate
in
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apply
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all over the world since there are many elderly in our society.
Furthermore
, members in many families will have to pay for the amount of money spent on medicine for the elderly which may affect the income of the family. In conclusion, even though there are many negative impacts on improved medical care that
people
 should
Correct your spelling
bear
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bare
Correct your spelling
bear
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 in mind, I still assume that the advantages ff
this
 development outweigh the disadvantages.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • elderly population
  • health care systems
  • pension funds
  • extended family relationships
  • quality of life
  • aging population
  • economic growth
  • volunteer work
  • expertise
  • financial planning
  • retirement
  • age-related diseases
  • medical research
  • healthier lifestyles
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