IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some children receive almost no encouragement from their parents regarding their performance at school, while other children receive too much pressure from their over enthusiastic parents which can have a negative impact on the child. Why do you think some parents put too much pressure on their children to perform well at school?

#children #encouragement #parents #performance #school #pressure #impact #child
There are two ends of the spectrum in
this
 regard. On one hand, many
children
 receive none or almost no form of encouragement from
parents
, whilst
on the other hand
, some
parents
 can be very overbearing meaning that they put colossal amounts of pressure on their
children
. Both of these traits can have devastating effects on a
child
. In
this
 essay, we shall see why
parents
 put much pressure on their
children
. The job market today is highly competitive and every parent wants their
child
 to get a good, well-paying job.
However
, for that to happen, the
children
 need to achieve nothing but excellence in their academic roles.
For example
, in Kerala, the academic competition is so high that, 40% of
children
 who score in the 90th percentile in their final boards still find it hard to get admission to colleges.
On the other hand
, you have
parents
 who show no interest in their
child
's academic life and provide no encouragement.
This
 may be because they believe that, celebrating your
child
's smallest achievement is not the way to help them achieve their true potential. The role of a parent should be more of a nurturer, more than anything else.
Parents
 need to realise that no one individual can reach exceptional levels all the time, and rather they should concentrate on being there for their
children
 rather than force them to achieve excellence all the time. If
parents
 pressure their
children
 to do nothing less than attain 100% grades, there will be a disconnect between the
parents
 and
children
, because if the kids are unable to achieve
this
 grade, they will become ashamed to tell
this
 to their
parents
. In conclusion,
parents
 play a key role in a
child
's academic development, and they should understand that they need to be nurturers more than anything else, for the sake of the youngster's psychological development.
Submitted by Nigelvictorlawrence on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: