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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some feel governments should invest in preserving minority languages, while others think this is not a good resourse use. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#feel #governments #minority #languages #resourse
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As the
world
 we live in gets more globalized, the
colorfulness
Change the spelling
colourfulness
show examples
 of
world
languages
 diminishes
due to
radiation
Correct article usage
the radiation
show examples
 of one international language principle.
While
 certain individuals believe that countries are responsible
to preserve
Change preposition
for preserving
show examples
 the scarce
languages
 around the
world
, others oppose
this
 effort as they value it as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 ineffective usage of resources. It is my contention that though globalization and its effects are inevitable and humanity is likely to encounter one
world
 language soon,
nevertheless
 protecting
antient
Correct your spelling
ancient
 and minority
languages
 is utterly important in
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
 to the culture and countries. First and foremost, many
languages
 are being targeted by a few international
languages
 as the minorities are obliged to abandon their ethnic
languages
. Fortunately,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
UNESCO and many countries have established an
Inistitute
Correct your spelling
Institute
 for Endangered
Languages
 so as to preserve and inherit
languages
 that
are being speaking
Change the verb form
are being spoken
show examples
 by a few people to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future generations.
This
 will always be remembered by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity in the long future as how diversified the Earth was
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 has always been throughout
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history by clearly protecting and documenting them. It is worth mentioning that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
much of the resources are being financed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international private organizations, leaving a negligible amount to the government budget.
On the other hand
, individuals contend that the investment made into the protection of minority
languages
 can be directed towards more prioritized issues
such
 as education and infrastructure development like roads and parks.
Furthermore
, it is important
acknowledge
Add the particle
to acknowledge
show examples
 the fact that the number of people who speak minority
languages
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 a continuous drop as the globalization impact is imminent and unlikely to be stopped. In conclusion,
although
 people consider governments' efforts made to guard and maintain endangered
languages
 as a futile effort, I think the cost of implementing these protective measures is
comparetively
Correct your spelling
comparatively
 lower and might fall short
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
supsede
Correct your spelling
supporting
 other alternatives.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is logically connected to the next, to further improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present and clear, ensure that you fully develop your ideas within the body paragraphs to present a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps with overall cohesion.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view.
language use
Your use of varied vocabulary and sentence structures enhances the readability of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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