IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The gap between education in richer countries and education in poorer countries is a growing concern. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?

#gap #education #countries #concern #situation
Education
 is vital for the growth of an individual so that they can meet the requirements of the job market.
However
, disparities in a country's wealth are causing gaping discrepancies in the
education
 systems between the richer and poorer nations. One of the major problems is that the governments of poorer countries do not have enough funds to distribute amongst the important sectors.
This
 results in schools receiving less funding than is required. Another problem is the fact that many families live below the poverty line, and since they are receiving no help from the administration, they need to go out and look for work themselves, and thereby their
education
 gets disrupted.
For example
 in India, at least 60% of the population lives below the poverty line, which results in many children leaving their families at young ages to look for work. Some solutions for
this
 would be the ministry of underdeveloped countries must invest more into the
education
 sector, and
also
 make schooling free for those living under poverty. They should introduce and enforce laws that prevent companies from hiring children below a certain age. The regime must
also
 introduce programs to get the parents educated, so that the parents understand the importance, and put more emphasis on their kids being educated. Going back to the example mentioned before, India has laws against the use of child labour, even mentioning the minimum age for a child to work.
Nevertheless
, in many cases,
this
 is ignored.
This
 is a common practice by many poorer nations. In conclusion,
education
 is very important for a child to help make them a valid contributor to the economy of a country,
therefore
 it is the regime's responsibility to ensure that their youth at educated.
Submitted by Nigelvictorlawrence on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: