Do you think that the technological advancement has more brought harm than good?

#advancement #harm

Nowadays, advanced technological products are surrounding our life.

People

depend on these devices,

such

as mobile

phone

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phones

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, which brings more convenience to our life

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apply

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but affect us in many aspects as well. For a mobile

phone

as an example, I consider that the advantages and disadvantages both existed.

The technological

Correct article usage

Technological

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advancement has a lot of advantages, one of

that

Correct pronoun usage

which that

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is the distance has

shorten

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shortened

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between

people

For example

, if someone lives in New York

city

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City

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and someone lives in Tokyo city, they can communicate through the mobile

phone

with each other rather than writing a letter. By using their mobile phones,

people

do not need to wait for a long time for greeting their friends or family

instead

they can send the text or video call just a few seconds, which makes each other closer.

On the other hand

, accompanying

with

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apply

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the dependency of mobile phones gradually enhancing, it brings negative effects on

people

Firstly

, children and teenagers spend enormous amounts of time on mobile phones in order to play

video

Add an article

a video

show examples

game

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games

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or to socialise,

consequently

, they neglect their

schoolworks

Correct your spelling

schoolwork

school works

Secondly

people

would get addicted to using

mobile

Add an article

a mobile

show examples

phone

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phones

show examples

, which is a modern disease.

For instance

, if they don’t use it for a while or receive texts quickly from other

people

, they will get anxious. In conclusion, despite the development of technology having some terrible effects on us, it causes more benefit than the effects. The distance will not be a problem anymore,

people

can contact anyone instantaneously because of shortening the distance through technological devices.

Submitted by katechen.com on Sun Oct 17 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Do you think that the technological advancement has more brought harm than good?

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In majority of universities learners focus on specific subjects, however some consider that universities must motivate learners to learn a great range of subjects. To what extent to you agree or disagree with this.

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You share your room with another student in the college hostel. You find it very difficult to study there because he/she always has parties and friends visiting. Write a letter to the hostel warden complaining about your displeasure with the roommate.