Television is dangerous because it destroyed family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family we just watch television. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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It is undeniable that the world at the present

time

Use synonyms

has had changed into

the

Correct article usage

apply

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modern life, and many advanced technologies, like televisions, are improved to create

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

happiness for

people

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, resulting in some

people

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think that watching

television

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is a harmful thing because it can make negative impacts in terms of family

time

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destroying and communication losing. From my point of view, I disagree with

this

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viewpoint for many reasons which will be outlined in the detail in the following paragraph. In my opinion, I disagree with

this

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viewpoint because I believe that watching

television

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is family

time

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creating rather than family

time

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destroying.

Moreover

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, watching

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can make

people

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have many stories to talk

and

Change preposition

about and

show examples

to discuss with their friends or other

people

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For example

Linking Words

, some families have a movie night on Friday or every weekend to create family

time

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and to build household connections because many parents nowadays do not have enough

time

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to keep in touch with their children,

as a result

Linking Words

, they are choosing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

television

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programs to strengthen their relationship with their kids.

Additionally

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, many

people

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are often using some

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programs,

such

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

football program, to make new friends and to create new relationships.

For instance

Linking Words

, many sport competitive channels are

showed

Change the form of the verb

shown

show examples

on the big

television

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in many bars or restaurants around the world, resulting in some

people

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can take their

time

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with others, after that

time

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, they may become friends.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, I think that watching

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in children can improve their communication skills and cognitive skills as well. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with these ideas because

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channels can make positive impacts, like family connection creating and new relationship creating, rather than negative impacts, and it can

also

Linking Words

be beneficial for children in terms of learning development.

Therefore

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, it is recommended that watching

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in the moderation period should be beneficial for everyone in the community.

kitsanayuiyuiSun Oct 17 2021

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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Television is dangerous because it destroyed family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family we just watch television. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

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Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society ?