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Band 5.5

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #society #immigrants #customs #codes #behavior
An increase in the number of
immigrants
 in various countries raised the question that whether newcomers should absorb the local culture and discard their former
customs
. Personally, I intend to argue that, the absorption of
destination
Correct article usage
the destination
show examples
 country’s rules is inevitable for
immigrants
.
People
 who are new to a place can blend in with society better if they follow their codes of conduct, particularly the ones that are reflected in society.
That is
,
immigrants
 are bound to be accepted in a community if they do not offend or insult the citizens unwillingly. Take newcomers to Muslim countries as a blatantly obvious example; the dress code, which is strict for women, must be abided by
immigrants
 in order to be a part of society when wearing a
head-scarf
Correct your spelling
headscarf
show examples
 is by no means optional for women. Some
people
,
however
, are of the opinion that the
customs
 and
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 which are not showcased in the public could be preserved. In the United States, various ceremonies are held by Persian expatriates related to their culture without harassment and insulting local
people
,
such
 as the Persian new year ceremony. Despite conserving some
customs
 and cultures that are not offensive, the codes of
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 of the host country should be followed even inside the families. Regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children’s
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
 in developed countries, patriarchy must be discarded in the conservative
immigrants
’ families, since children have the right to sue their parents . By way of conclusion, granted, a few personal habits of a nation can be kept,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 the majority of laws and
customs
 are impossible to overlook and should be followed. Before moving to another country
people
 would better raise their awareness with regard to their destination country to avoid culture shock, especially when it comes to bringing up children.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • migration
  • integration
  • social cohesion
  • cultural clashes
  • original culture
  • diversity
  • identity loss
  • psychological distress
  • balanced approach
  • local customs
  • cultural identities
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