IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that the whole family (grandparents, uncles and aunts) bringing up children is better then only parents. what is your opinion?

#people #grandparents #uncles #aunts #children #parents
Nowadays, in most families, both parents work to afford expenses and the offspring’s needs.A chunk of individuals opines that due to the hectic schedule of parents it would be beneficial to raise teenagers in the joint family rather than in the nuclear family. I; have agreed with the former opinion and I will discuss it in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with, in families including grandparents and other family
members
 help
children
 the importance of each other and family
members
. They learn to share and support others in their difficult times as consequence they develop social skills that are beneficial for their future.
For instance
,
children
 with better communication skills enhance their chances of success they might offer opportunities,
otherwise
 not feasible .
Moreover
, in times of trouble financially and morally, grandparents help them and motivate them to achieve their goals.
In addition
, parents are left with no time for the teenagers due to hectic schedules and work deadlines
therefore
 juveniles might end up in my company but living in a joint family enable other
members
 to look after them and prevent them from any delinquencies.
On the other hand
, some people argue that
children
 become irresponsible when they are overly nurtured because grandparents fulfil their every wish as consequences they forget to appreciate.
Moreover
, they become attention seekers as their every need is met in the family
as a result
 sometimes they rudely behave with the others. In conclusion, I believe that
children
 brought up in the whole family teach them vital survival values
such
 as sharing and helping others in difficult situations and they
also
 get support from family
members
 too.
However
, there are some drawbacks
also
such
 as acting responsibly when their every desire is met.
Submitted by Vipan bro on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: