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Band 7.5

In many countries, people can buy a wide range of household goods, for example, TV, microwave oven and rice cooker. Is it a positive or negative development?

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The availability of a wide range of
household
goods
 like televisions, microwave ovens, and rice cookers in many countries has generally been seen as a positive development.
This
 is because it improves the quality of life, drives economic growth, and encourages technological innovation.
Firstly
, the availability of diverse
household
appliances
 has significantly improved people’s quality of life. With the help of these
appliances
, daily chores have become easier and more efficient.
For instance
, washing machines have eliminated the need for laborious hand washing of clothes,
while
 microwaves enable quick and convenient cooking.
This
 not only saves time for other activities but
also
 reduces the physical strain associated with manual work.
Secondly
, the production and sale of these
goods
 stimulate economic growth. It creates jobs in manufacturing, retail, and related service sectors. The consumer demand for these
goods
also
 encourages competition among companies, which can lead to lower prices and better quality products for consumers.
Furthermore
, the demand for
household
appliances
 spurs technological innovation. Companies are continually investing in research and development to create new products or improve existing ones.
This
 has led to the emergence of smart
appliances
, which can be controlled remotely and are more energy-efficient.
Such
 innovations not only make life more convenient but
also
 contribute to environmental sustainability.
However
,
this
 development
also
 has potential downsides. The consumption of
household
goods
 can lead to overconsumption and waste, which is harmful to the environment.
Furthermore
, the reliance on
appliances
 can contribute to a sedentary lifestyle, which is linked to health problems like obesity and heart disease. In conclusion,
while
 the availability of a wide range of
household
goods
 in many countries has many benefits, it is important to manage its potential negative impacts.
This
 can be done through promoting responsible consumption, recycling, and the use of energy-efficient
appliances
.
Submitted by wanghongyu1 on

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Detailed Examples
To further enhance your essay, consider incorporating more specific examples to support your points. While you've given general instances, detailed examples would provide a stronger argument.
Balance in Argument
Remember, it's beneficial to briefly acknowledge potential downsides to create a balanced discussion, even in a predominantly positive or negative argument.
Organizational Structure
You've organized your essay effectively, with a clear introduction, logical progression of ideas, and a concluding paragraph that ties your argument together.
Supporting Details
Your main points are well-supported with reasoning, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
Use of Language
You made effective use of transitional phrases to ensure cohesion and flow between your sentences and paragraphs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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