IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

If countries are serious about solving traffic problems, they should tax private cars very heavily and use the money to provide free or very cheap rail travel. In what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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countries all over the world
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 experiencing pressing traffic
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can be addressed or reduced by taking various actions
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 one of them is higher taxes on private vehicles.
However
Linking Words
, it can be one of the steps
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 there are many other practical solutions that can be implemented to control
this
Linking Words
 problem in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 long run.
Firstly
Linking Words
, imposing
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 duty will not help to solve
this
Linking Words
affair
Check wording
issue
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 for a
longer
Correct word choice
long
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 period because people who can afford to buy cars can
also
Linking Words
 afford to pay
price
Correct article usage
the price
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 or find a way to pay them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, higher gas prices and toll taxes can help to some extent.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, less production of cars can be useful too.
Instead
Linking Words
 of punishing people, the government should focus on other methods to solve the issue. The government should provide education and awareness among the citizens to start using fewer private vehicles to commute, sharing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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ride
Fix the agreement mistake
rides
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 and creating special lanes for them. They should
also
Linking Words
 focus on the infrastructure development for the public transit and highways, ring roads should be built by keeping traffic in mind for
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 few decades.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, countries like India have implemented driving vehicles with odd or even number plates
during
Change preposition
on
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 certain days of the week to control
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic.
Lastly
Linking Words
, countries should educate on
health
Correct article usage
the health
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awareness
Check wording
benefits
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 of riding a bicycle and create special lanes for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bicycle riders. Authorities should give a discount or
less
Correct word choice
lower
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tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
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 for citizens who use public transit or ride-sharing.
Moreover
Linking Words
, companies should pick a different day of the week and allow employees to work from
once
Check wording
home once
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 a week. To summarise
when
Punctuation problem
, when
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 there is a
will
Punctuation problem
will,
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then
Linking Words
 there is a way
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 we can certainly address
this
Linking Words
 issue with the help of the authorities and help to make a better world to live in for generations to come.

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improvement
State a clear view on the topic in the first paragraph and keep it in the rest of the essay.
improvement
Add a few strong ideas and give clear examples to back them up.
improvement
Start each paragraph with a short topic sentence and keep one idea per paragraph.
improvement
Use linking words like also, but, and, so to show how ideas are linked.
strength
You give many ideas. Put them in a simple order so the reader can follow.
content
The text shows many ideas on how to cut traffic, not just taxes.
language use
It uses some connect words and some example, like the India odd-even plan.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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