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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Missions to explore space are hugely expensive, and there are problems on Earth which demand our attention. The number of these missions needs to be reduced. Do you agree or disagree

#missions #space #earth #demand #attention
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It has been over a decade since the two humans had stepped down to the moon and after
that is
 the history of
space
 industries.
Space
missions
has
Change the verb form
have
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 become one of the important things that shall be done for
a
Correct article usage
the
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 progress of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humanity.
However
, it is undeniable that in the present day, there
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
 have
problems
 that need to be fixed in the world but the
space
 mission still
need
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needs
show examples
 to be one of the things that we cannot take
ours
Correct the word
our
show examples
 eyes off.
To begin
 with, I disagree with the statement above due to the following reason.
Firstly
, the
space
missions
 already have been planned for years, and if the plan has been cancelled, it will cause many
problems
 in the industry by having
a
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apply
show examples
late progress and all the schedules will delay.
Secondly
, the
space
 industries already have an investment in the project that cannot be ignored ,
otherwise
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,otherwise
show examples
 it will be a waste of money.
Lastly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
missions
is
Change the verb form
are
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 very important for humans in the future more than solving
problems
in
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on
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 the
earth
. Perhaps the best example is if there are serious
problems
in
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on
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 the
earth
 that will make
human
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humans
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 cannot live
in
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on
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 the
earth
, we can just move out to
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 planets that have been explored before.
Moreover
, I do believe that we can separate the organization to take control
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
missions
 and the
problems
. So, it
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 necessary to let anything between the
missions
 and the
problems
. In summary, I cannot entirely agree with the statement due to the reasons and examples in the former and latter
paragraph
Fix the agreement mistake
paragraphs
show examples
. But I do believe that we still need to tackle the
problems
in
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on
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 the
earth
 for a longer lifetime
in
Change preposition
on
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this
 planet.
Submitted by pondssp on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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