Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extend do you agree?

#people #media #coverage #celebrities #effect #children

People

have always tried to improve themselves by following the actions of somebody they admire, depending on the aspirations

each

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

have. Nowadays, Internet has made

possible

Correct pronoun usage

it possible

show examples

that any person can make their daily routines public, and for famous

people

to show how they live and interact outside scenery.

This

is not exactly positive for

kids

that are just starting to learn about

life

and how to organize their time.

To begin

with, watching the daily actions of celebrities can make

people

believe that

this

is how everybody should be living, spending money and buying expensive products.

Kids

will easily believe that whatever the person they admire does, is what they should be doing as well, requesting for purchasing articles to their parents that they probably will not need and will become a useless expend.

Similarly

, popular

people

usually intend to achieve what they consider

Change the article

show examples

standard of beauty and make it look like appearance is the only important thing in

life

. For

kids

that are only starting to learn what to believe or not, is not good to see how some persons recognize somebody's value because of his or her looks.

In addition

, to see the

people

they admire doing activities they like might make youngers

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

care more about following another's

Correct your spelling

lives

life

life's

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

on screen

Add a hyphen

on-screen

show examples

than living a

life

on their own. Staying connected to

electronical

Correct your spelling

electronic

devices can make everybody

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

lose the track of time and waste it

through

Change preposition

throughout

show examples

the day for being

Correct your spelling

onward

show examples

ward

Add an article

the ward

a ward

show examples

of another person's activities. Infants are in an age of learning and expanding their knowledge and the best way to teach something is by showing examples. To aim

Change preposition

for a

show examples

life

that does not correspond to us can be harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

adults and even more for

Correct your spelling

children

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

. Luxury and beauty standards are topics that only an adult can decide

wheter

Correct your spelling

whether

to follow or not and they should not be exposed to

kids

without an adult's guidance.

Submitted by miguelfloresb2021 on Fri Oct 22 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

321 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Celebrity culture
Glamorization
Unrealistic expectations
Self-esteem
Scandals
Role models
Moral development
Mental health
Influence
Exposure
Social media platforms
Charity work
Inappropriate behavior
Perfection image
Negative impact
Inspire children

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Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extend do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railway and trams. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

The tendency of news reporters in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing sof skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.