In the modern world, a university education is essential in order to get a rewarding job and earn a high salary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people believe that the role of universities is to encourage youngsters to develop their skills which can assist them to achieve a great job and a high income. In my opinion, I strongly agree that people who have higher education tend to achieve more income and great occupation since they are required in job-seeker and have more academic knowledge.
To begin
with, it is undoubted that working markets require more intellectual and experienced graduates.
In addition
, numerous businesses tend to hire employees who have a higher degree,
for
this
reason, the colleges formulate their curriculum to
according
Change preposition
apply
show examples
meet what market needs by developing their skills in practical courses
besides
giving academic pieces of knowledge.
For example
, colleges of the Civil Engineering Faculty at the University of Indonesia have to follow an internship programme in Mobil Anak Bangsa Company.
Consequently
, they experience more to develop their skill.
In contrast
, people who do not have higher education tend to
underestimate
Wrong verb form
be underestimated
show examples
by businessmen, they are assumed that have no more intelligence.
As a result
, HRD usually tends to manage them with the physical job desk,
conversely
, bachelor's degree employees are sued to improve the business which needs more ideas and critical thinking.
Thus
,
this
leads to making them earn a higher income than others. In conclusion, I believe that employee candidates who have a great background with higher education lead them to earn higher salaries since they have more talent than others since they are assumed that have many skills and expertise in college.
In addition
, university graduates are preferable to HRD when they are hiring employees.
Submitted by yuliarahmah92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Develop more specific and pertinent examples to support your arguments. This will help to make your essay more robust and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states your opinion and sets up the essay's main argument.
logical structure
Each paragraph has a clear main idea, which contributes to overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: