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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

All over the world, the number of overweight people is growing. What do you feel are the main causes of this? What are the effects?

#world #people #effects
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In recent years, a significant incline in the obesity rate among
people
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 is evident. Many factors are contributing to
this
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 conundrum
such
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 as digitalization, and are leaving us with ramifications like higher exposure to diseases. The advancements in technology have changed our lives like never before. These advancements have affected the way
people
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 work, rest, do chores at home and etc.
For example
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, many hard labours at factories are replaced with robotic activities and those workers are now in charge of monitoring and maintaining those tools. These changes have an impact on all aspects of our lives, and
therefore
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,
in contrast
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 to previous eras,
people
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's lives consist of less physical activities and
as a result
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, they are more likely to get more obese. As for effects, obviously, obesity is detrimental to our health. Many research has proven direct negative effects on our vitality from higher fat and cholesterol in our blood.
For instance
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, there is a relationship between cholesterol and heart attack as well as blood sugar rate and diabetes. These diseases are undeniable dangers to our health which are the result of obesity. To summarize, there are many reasons for a person to get fat. Personally, I believe the most impactful is digitalization which has reduced physical activities and as a consequence, more
people
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 are exposed to threats like heart attack and other diseases.
Submitted by armin.oveisi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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