IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Countries becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #products #world #development
The rise of globalisation has given rise access to
people
 to connect with the world and share goods
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are local to
people
. I believe
this
 is a positive development. Nowadays, due to sake of work,
people
 compelled to live in other
countries
, which make them miss their home food, goods they endear, can have in other nation as well.
For instance
, Indian
people
linving
Correct your spelling
living
 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 enjoy Indian food whenever they want.
Moreover
,
this
also
 gives
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
feeling
Correct article usage
the feeling
show examples
, that somehow they are attached to their homeland.
Furthermore
, it
also
 allows
people
 of
other land
Change the wording
another land
other lands
show examples
 to enjoy which are famous in other
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
.
For example
, African coffee
supplied
Add a missing verb
is supplied
show examples
 worldwide these days.
On the other hand
, some
people
 argue
fhat
Correct your spelling
that
 there is no uniqueness left.
In addition
 to that
people
 are losing interest in travelling to other
countries
, which eventually effecting the
countries
 and overall economy of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 I believe that growing similarities between
countries
 is beneficial
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
fir
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 development.
People
 can take advantage of
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
 from other
countries
, as well as immigrants can be less stressed.
Submitted by mani1995sha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: