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Band 6.5

Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while other struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#artists #sums #money #struggle #governments #steps #situation
It is argued that whether the government should help make the balance between those wealthy
artists
 and poor ones. I totally agree with the idea because
artists
 have no difference from other occupations. Arts, like other fields, offers occupations to talented people in the area. Creativity is the most important factor when we measure an artist and his
works
.
Although
 the value of a work is virtually hard to quantify, experts inside the field could still discriminate between
works
 by creative minds contained. By doing so, the art populations have their own assessment
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 career progression and job increments.
For example
,
pictures
Change preposition
in pictures
show examples
 from Picasso, Vincent can always earn much more money than
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other painters because of the imagination and value included. Governments should not help to ease the difference in revenues.
Firstly
,
artists
 creating their
works
 is just like those who work for companies. It is your ability that decides your salary, perks and financial rewards.
Thus
, help from the authorities somehow creates inequality.
Secondly
, there are actually more aspects in society that governments should pay attention to. Funds should be used to subsidise the poor and upgrade infrastructure in rural areas.
Finally
, in the art area where job prospects are hard to see, the official authorities should take robust steps to inspire those who struggle to survive.
For instance
,
artists
 in a poor situation should be asked to attend some ongoing training or day release programmes, which will improve their skills. In conclusion, every artist should be evaluated by their
works
 evenly, which should not be disturbed by official strengths.
Submitted by kev4313 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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