Nowadays, most people contend that taking a gap year to work or travel before pursuing education is more preferable. What are the disadvantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #gap #year #work #travel #education #trend

In various nations around the world, many people advocate taking a gap year in order to

work

or travel before beginning one’s tertiary education.

While

there is clearly a drawback to

this

, I personally believe that the benefits are more significant. The disadvantage of going on a gap year is that

students

may end up not returning to their studies. The reason for

this

is that they may enjoy earning money and becoming financially independent.

Therefore

, their whole future could be negatively affected as these days it is very important for everyone to graduate with a degree in order to be competitive in the job market.

On the other hand

, one of the major advantages is that

students

will be able to expand their horizons if they travel overseas. When

students

go abroad, they will be exposed to different cultures and customs.

For example

, westerners visiting a country like Thailand will be able to experience traditional Thai dance like Khon and traditional Thai

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

like Muay Thai.

As a result

, they will gain a deeper understanding of the different places in the world.

In addition

to that,

students

who

work

will be able to learn to appreciate the value of money.

This

is because they will realize the hard

work

involved in earning an income.

Consequently

, they would think more before purchasing anything they desire and may become less impulsive in their spending. In conclusion, the advantages are of greater significance than the

disadvantage

Fix the agreement mistake

disadvantages

show examples

. Despite the fact that

students

may not continue

Change preposition

apply

show examples

studying at university, they will gain a lot of experience when they travel or learn to better appreciate money when they

work

. Given

this

situation, it is recommended that schools should encourage more

students

to consider taking a gap year.

Submitted by zahraauliani32 on Sun Jan 14 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure, with clear paragraphs delineating the introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the introduction and conclusion could be strengthened by providing a clearer thesis statement and a more summarised restatement of the key points, respectively.

coherence cohesion

While the main points are supported, the essay would benefit from a more diverse range of cohesive devices and better paragraphing to improve the overall flow of ideas. Additionally, the conclusion should encapsulate the main argument more effectively.

task achievement

The response directly addresses the task, providing insight into both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year. To elevate the essay, include more comprehensive development of ideas with detailed examples, particularly related to the disadvantages, which are less developed than the advantages.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, most people contend that taking a gap year to work or travel before pursuing education is more preferable. What are the disadvantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

Young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to work or study in cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the drawbacks?

Some teachers think that changing subjects with every lesson will help their students focus more. However, other teachers think that offering their students several lessons on the same subject in a row will help them focus more. Which opinion do you think is better?

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.