IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the loss of specific kinds of
plants
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 and animals is the biggest environmental issue of our era,
while
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 others think that there are more vital environmental issues.
Although
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 the former point can be problematic in some cases, I believe that global warming and
ocean
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 pollution are more pressing environmental problems. Undoubtedly, the loss of particular species of
plants
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 and animals is a problem in some areas because it disrupts ecological balance.
To begin
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 with, if specific kinds of
plants
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 become extinct, it will lead to rapid environmental deterioration.
For example
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, in China,
due to
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 military farming in the Xinjiang province,
people
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 destroyed the Populus euphratica forest, leading to rapid land desertification.
However
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, I believe that
this
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 problem is limited in scope and can be easily solved if
people
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 replant these trees. Global warming and
ocean
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 pollution are the biggest problems that humans face because they can cause the extinction of thousands of species and make the environment unsuitable for human habitation. First and foremost, with the majority of species extinct,
people
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 cannot gather enough food to sustain themselves.
In addition
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, with temperatures exceeding alert values,
people
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 may die
due to
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 extreme heat and lack of water.
For instance
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,
due to
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 oil leaks and the discharge of nuclear wastewater into the sea,
people
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 living on small islands in the Pacific
Ocean
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 cannot catch enough fish to feed themselves, and high temperatures lead to water scarcity. I believe that
this
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 is just the beginning, and if
people
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 do not take these issues seriously, we may face extinction like the dinosaurs. In conclusion, the loss of specific
plants
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 or animals can cause localized environmental problems, but the most significant issues,
such
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 as global warming and
ocean
Use synonyms
 pollution, have the potential to lead humanity to destruction.

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structure
Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps to guide the reader through your argument effectively. Continue to structure your essays in this way for clarity.
example use
You've effectively used examples to support your main points. However, be careful to ensure that your examples are entirely relevant and specific to the point you're making. For even stronger essays, aim to draw on a wider range of examples.
sentence variation
Consider varying your sentence structures a bit more to enhance the flow of your writing. While coherence and cohesion are strong, varied sentence types can add to the readability and engagement of the essay.
task response
Your task response is strong, and your opinion is clear throughout the essay. To further improve, particularly for higher bands, ensure that every part of the question is addressed comprehensively throughout the essay, not just in the conclusive statements.
introduction conclusion
Effective use of introductory and concluding paragraphs to frame your argument.
example support
Relevant examples are used to support your main points effectively.
opinion clarity
Clear expression of your own opinion, making your stance known to the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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