In some countries celebrities complain about the way media publicize their private lives. Some people say that they should accept it as a part of their fame.do you agree or disagree?

#countries #celebrities #media #lives #people #part #fame

Being

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrities

Correct the article-noun agreement

celebrity

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, their life is an open book to the public,

therefore

it is common that most of them do not have privacy at all. How it affects

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Change preposition

apply

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how they live? In

this

essay, I will discuss in

details

Fix the agreement mistake

detail

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why I agree that

well known

Add a hyphen

well-known

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people cannot live freely.

To begin

with,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrities are role models that people are idolizing and

fantasizing

Wrong verb form

fantasize

show examples

them. Some of them are acting what the community want to see. They need to be pretty, well mannered and glamorous for them to be loved and accepted. Nowadays, because of social media people are easy

Fix the infinitive

apply

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access them,

thus

they can follow them and some can be connected to them.

In addition

, it is true that anyone can publicise them with a photo or video that can be taken on their mobile phones. By that, they can post it without the permission of that individual,

thus

invading their privacy.

Furthermore

, some individuals are making

this

for

living

Correct article usage

a living

show examples

such

as, they are selling pictures and videos to the publishers, they are

callig

Correct your spelling

calling

them

papparazzis

Correct your spelling

paparazzi

. They are famous and popular because they are making the news about them whether it is good or bad. But some of them are trying to ignore and live their lives,

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

there are still victims of being published. It causes depression, stress and even danger not only in their lives but

also

to their families. In conclusion, being popular can be beneficial but it is more

Submitted by ding on Sun Oct 24 2021

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

247 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries celebrities complain about the way media publicize their private lives. Some people say that they should accept it as a part of their fame.do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think individuals are more and more dependent on each other. Some people think individuals are more and more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many people have Access to computers on a wide basis and large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done minimize bad effects?

In many countries, plastic containers have been more common than ever and are used by many food and drink companies. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?