Some people believe that Young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the criminal age is getting younger through decades. People say that young individuals who made crimes should be given chances. Others believe these people should have the same punishment as adults. Personally, I agree with the
first
Linking Words
statement.
Firstly
Linking Words
, teenagers do not have the ability to fully understand what they did. With a certain rise in the number of criminal cases made by youngsters, it rings the alarm for parents’ responsibility who are not taking an eye on their child. A teenager is a child in an adult body. They do not fully understand how to describe their own personality, so often, they show disappointment as aggression. With little perception, crimes happen
as a result
Linking Words
. In the UK, in October 2006, a teenage boy showered a gun to his classmates as he got bullied by a group of students. If only his parents, or teachers, took care of him in person, they would have stopped the tragedy.
Secondly
Linking Words
, humans are fragile, they are easily affected by the living environment. Unfiltered violent games, videos, movies are too easy to access these days. Fights between parents are
also
Linking Words
one of the common issues found in young criminals’ lives. A study by Stanfords, 89% of crimes by young individuals came from unhappy families. In conclusion, youngsters who have stepped on the wrong side of life should be given a chance to fix it. They should get rid of the past, and be covered with love and understanding. We, as adults, should show merci, and lots of patience for the
next
Linking Words
generations.
Submitted by tuongvi.dangngoc on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: