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Writing Samples
Band 6

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

#trend #world #couples #children
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An increasing number of married
couples
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 around the world choosing to remain childless. The main benefits of not having a
child
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 for
couples
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 are that they can focus on their careers and have more
time
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 for themselves. The main drawbacks are that they
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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 fit into their peers’
group
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groups
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 and have no
one
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 to look after them when they get old.
One
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 primary advantage of remaining childless for married
couples
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 is that they can focus on their work.
This
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 is because they have less responsibility and distractions in their lives compared to the
couples
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 that have a
child
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. Another advantage of
this
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 is that they have more spare
time
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. Looking after a
child
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 is a full-
time
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 job for
parents
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 and
taking
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takes
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 most of their
time
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,
while
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child
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-free
couples
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 have lots of free
time
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 after work.
For example
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, many
couples
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 stop going out late with their friends after having a
child
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 as they have to stay at home
for looking
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to look
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 after their
children
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.
One
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 disadvantage of
couples
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 deciding not to have
children
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 is that they can struggle to hang with their peers after most of them have
children
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. Most
parents
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 prefer to spend more
time
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 with other
couples
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 that have
children
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 as well.
Moreover
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, do not have anyone to look after them in their
elderliness
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elderly
show examples
 is another disadvantage.
Children
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 are the ones who take care of their
parents
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 when they get old because their
parents
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 did the same for them when they were young.
For instance
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, the vast majority of the people who live in care homes have no
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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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. In conclusion, the main benefits of staying
child
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-free for
couples
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 are that they can be more career-oriented and have more free
time
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 for themselves, and the main drawbacks are that they could have problems
about
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apply
show examples
fitting into their friends’ group and having no
one
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 to take care of them when they become older.
Submitted by sajeendranrajakumar on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in phrasing. For example, 'hang with their peers' can be revised to 'socialize with their peers' for better readability.
task achievement
Provide more varied examples to strengthen the points. The essay is largely well-supported, but additional examples could enrich the arguments.
coherence cohesion
Refine minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'taking most of their time,' which should be 'which takes up most of their time.'
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with distinct advantages and disadvantages presented.
task achievement
The main ideas are relevant and align well with the task prompt.
task achievement
Good use of examples to support points, such as mentioning care homes to illustrate the point about elderly care.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • childfree
  • personal freedom
  • financial stress
  • raising children
  • nurturing the relationship
  • societal pressure
  • stigma
  • support network
  • companionship
  • legacy
  • regret
  • intimate bond
  • norm
  • invest in experiences
  • close-knit
What to do next:
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