IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

There is an annual work party next month, which is held every year. Write a letter to your colleagues to co-arrange the party. In your letter: •Say what would you do differently than last year •Say what you think were some of the things not so good last year •Suggest where to meet to plan for the party.

#work #party #month #year #colleagues #co-arrange #•say #•suggest #plan
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My dear sir or madam colleagues, As you know, our yearly work party is coming soon.
This
 tradition has become boring for everyone, including me. To be honest,
this
 regular event feels annoying because we always do the same things every year. Nothing changes, and it feels repetitive. When I realized that
this
 situation
doesn't
Wrong verb form
didn't
show examples
 work well anymore, I decided to take action to solve it. My suggestion is to change the plan
this
 year.
Instead
 of the usual event, let's go together to a beautiful lake and have a barbecue. We can meet in front of the business apartment, and I have already rented a bus. I
also
 arranged for a guitarist to join us.
This
 musician will escort us, and we can enjoy music on the way.
For preparing
Change preposition
To prepare
show examples
this
 organization and
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 it a success, I am waiting for everyone's support. I hope we can make
this
 year’s event fun and different. Best regards.
Submitted by mertcanozturk1071 on

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task achievement
Try to provide a bit more detail about the areas that were not so good last year.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for better clarity.
task achievement
You provided a clear suggestion for improving the party this year.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a clear beginning and a respectful closing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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