IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

I am writing this letter to express my dissatisfaction with the recent experience I had with a food which I purchased from your pet store. It is dog food, I bought it yesterday

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my dissatisfaction with the recent experience I had with food which I purchased from your pet store. It is dog food, I bought it yesterday The first thing which should be mentioned is that it expired a week ago. I did not notice that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because I was rushed to my work so that I could not check an expiration. 63 I realized
this
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 after my dog had a bad stomachache.
Then
Linking Words
, it was taken to a clinic special for pets, but my dog’s health is not good yet. I would be very grateful if you
refund
Wrong verb form
refunded
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me, as I feel that it is not worth the money I paid for it and affected my dog's health. You should check the product again to avoid encountering the same thing. Hoping that my matter will be solved I shall wait for your reply at your earliest convenience. Yours faithfully, Mrs Smith

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Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific details about the dog food, like brand or type, to strengthen your complaint.
Coherence and Cohesion
Proofread your letter to correct small errors, such as 'I was rushed to my work so that I could not check an expiration. 63',' but these are minor and have a marginal impact on understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your letter has a good structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion which efficiently explains the problem, the impact, and the resolution you are seeking.
Task Achievement
You have used a suitable tone throughout the letter, which is formal and appropriate for the situation, aligning well with the task requirements.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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