IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people suggest that it is wrong to give money to beggars asking for money on the street, while others think that it is the right thing to do. Which point of view do you think is correct, and why?

#people #money #beggars #street #right #point
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When walking along the streets especially crowded-
peoplepeople
Correct your spelling
people people
 places, most
people
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 were asked at least once by
beggars
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 to give them some cash. There is a controversial discussion about
this
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 situation that providing
money
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 to
beggars
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 is appropriate or not. Partly of the population refute doing
such
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 an action, while others consider that it is a good thing to do. In my opinion, I believe that
people
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 should not grant their
money
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 to the beggar and I will explain the reasons in the essay below.
To begin
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 with, in long term, bestowing
money
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 to
beggars
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 causes a negative consequence afterwards because
people
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 may indirectly increase the number of baggers in the future. To illustrate, if there are abundant pedestrians donating
money
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 to the
beggars
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, the total amount of
money
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 is high
although
Linking Words
 the value of each person granting to them seem slightly.
This
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 behaviour will encourage the vagrants or homeless
people
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 who have no work and income to become another beggar since they can receive earnings from the donators.
Furthermore
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, when considering the reason, most citizens because of having sympathy toward another human;
however
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, human trafficking operations may use
this
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 method to gain benefit.
For instance
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, among the real
beggars
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, there are some groups of
people
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 that may be kidnapped and forced to be
beggars
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 and givers cannot distinguish whether it is a criminal or not. That means the citizens giving cash to them unintentionally give aid to the wrong-doing. To conclude, I conceive that donating
money
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 to
beggars
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 is not suitable because it conduces to unfavourable aftermaths more than benefits
such
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 as the increased quantity of
beggars
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 and criminality.
Instead
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,
beggars
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 should not exist in society in order to avoid these results.
Submitted by aaatibet on

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