Many people are choosing to delay parenthood. Why is this happening? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays,
people
usually have many decisions to make in their lives followed by cultural changes in society. Every year, the old culture which has the mindset of not delaying parenthood
slowly lowers in attention, because many people
have their opinions and needs that require to be achieved first before they are ready to become a parent. This
essay will discuss why is this
happening, and I agree that there is a positive aspect to this
development.
It is widely known that, currently each person has a variety of needs. On the other hand
, the number of density the population in many cities is significantly higher than old era when our parents were still young. For instance
, in recent years the number of people
in Indonesia has reached more than 280 million in just one nation. This
is making job vacancies become more selective and competitive among the people
, and of course, it will make a large effort to get a good job and good salary.
Moreover
, when someone has decided to delay parenthood
, usually it is because they want to ensure their readiness to become a parent. There is not only prepare the wealthy to feed their children, but also
, need to make sure readiness of their mental and psychological health to raise their children. For example
, in developed countries, there are a lot of young people
has decided to delay parenthood
because it
necessary for them to make sure of many aspects to decide whether they are ready or not to have a child.
In conclusion, even it is still debatable for the decision to delay Add a verb
it is
it was
parenthood
. We must also
realize that every decision that we make has its consequences. Especially, in decisions in our lives, it is necessary for us to make sure our decisions have been made based on our capabilities and recent conditions.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, consider integrating more specific examples that provide a broader context. This will enrich the essay and make the argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
In order to further develop coherence and cohesion, ensure that every point you make directly ties into the main topic sentence of each paragraph, highlighting the relationship between ideas more explicitly.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly introduces the topic and sets up the essay well.
complete response
The essay presents a comprehensive argument that reflects good understanding and engagement with the question.
logical structure
The logical progression of ideas helps maintain reader interest through smoothly flowing paragraphs.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite