Many people are choosing to delay parenthood. Why is this happening? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays,

people

Use synonyms

usually have many decisions to make in their lives followed by cultural changes in society. Every year, the old culture which has the mindset of not delaying

parenthood

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slowly lowers in attention, because many

people

Use synonyms

have their opinions and needs that require to be achieved first before they are ready to become a parent.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss why is

this

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happening, and I agree that there is a positive aspect to

this

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development. It is widely known that, currently each person has a variety of needs.

On the other hand

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, the number of density the population in many cities is significantly higher than old era when our parents were still young.

For instance

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, in recent years the number of

people

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in Indonesia has reached more than 280 million in just one nation.

This

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is making job vacancies become more selective and competitive among the

people

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, and of course, it will make a large effort to get a good job and good salary.

Moreover

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, when someone has decided to delay

parenthood

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, usually it is because they want to ensure their readiness to become a parent. There is not only prepare the wealthy to feed their children, but

also

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, need to make sure readiness of their mental and psychological health to raise their children.

For example

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, in developed countries, there are a lot of young

people

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has decided to delay

parenthood

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because

Add a verb

it is

it was

show examples

necessary for them to make sure of many aspects to decide whether they are ready or not to have a child. In conclusion, even it is still debatable for the decision to delay

parenthood

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. We must

also

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realize that every decision that we make has its consequences. Especially, in decisions in our lives, it is necessary for us to make sure our decisions have been made based on our capabilities and recent conditions.

ru.kabiru.biruWed Oct 09 2024

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task achievement

To enhance task achievement, consider integrating more specific examples that provide a broader context. This will enrich the essay and make the argument more compelling.

coherence cohesion

In order to further develop coherence and cohesion, ensure that every point you make directly ties into the main topic sentence of each paragraph, highlighting the relationship between ideas more explicitly.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly introduces the topic and sets up the essay well.

complete response

The essay presents a comprehensive argument that reflects good understanding and engagement with the question.

logical structure

The logical progression of ideas helps maintain reader interest through smoothly flowing paragraphs.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Many people are choosing to delay parenthood. Why is this happening? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important thing to consider. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

Now a day the surveillance is happening at almost all public places. Is it good or perceived bad by people? What are advantages and disadvantages?