IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local businesses will bring about the death of local communities.

#development #expansion #supermarkets #countries #businesses #people #closure #death #communities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays local businesses seem to be defeated by the economic potential of large corporations that operate shopping malls and large chain stores and there are many people who believe it suggests a collapse in the local economy. From my point of view, I strongly agree that small businesses play a vital role in the native communities and that their disappearance will have a negative impact. It can’t be denied that chains of local stores are the main outlet for native products and if these disappear factories will come to a standstill and jobs will be affected.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there will be shortages of rice, vegetables and meat. Farmers will be hit the most, especially during the Covid 19 pandemic when the chain of transport has been interrupted.
Additionally
Linking Words
, products in supermarkets are far too expensive for most customers in developing countries who have been struggling to survive for a long time.
Then
Linking Words
, supermarkets are not accessible for those who live in the countryside and they are not all familiar with modern technologies
such
Linking Words
 as making card payments. The whole aspect of
this
Linking Words
 makes them confused, so they are happier shopping at a small store rather than a supermarket. In conclusion, I believe that though there are huge advantages to visiting a shopping mall, local stores still play a vital role in the lives of most people. They offer a sense of community and unique items, but at the same time, I think that competition will help them both develop.
Submitted by rosieg53 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rapid expansion
  • compete
  • closure
  • death
  • local communities
  • wider range of products
  • convenience
  • unique character
  • personalized customer service
  • unemployment
  • job opportunities
  • traditional skills
  • craftsmanship
  • support
  • local economy
  • decline
  • community spirit
What to do next:
Look at other essays: