IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Space exploration costs taxpayers an exorbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages and disadvantage of spending money on space exploration?

#space #exploration #costs #taxpayers #amount #money #year
A lot of the government's spending is on the NASA program to look for alternate planets to see whether they will support
life
.
This
 is more of a divided opinion and poses its own set of advantages and disadvantages, which I shall substantiate my reasons in
this
 essay. On one hand, the current global warming rates have reached a limit where, it is now of utmost importance to find another planet, which can sustain
life
 as per the atmospheric
conditions
 of the
earth
.
For instance
, a recent study shows Mars is the most like to like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
planet, in terms of the
earth
's atmospheric
conditions
, which can sustain
life
.
Also
, the identification of a river system on Mars has laid claim to the fact that Mars in a way is more similar to
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
 as compared to any of the other planets. Alternately, the public feels that with the amount being spent on the space program to find
life
 on other planets, that money could be spent on providing better healthcare to its citizens, trying to eradicate poverty,
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 the educational and infrastructural systems, and most important to stop unemployment amongst the middle-class citizens.
For instance
, the spending budget of NASA on average runs into the billions, which is used for other purposes,
could
Correct word choice
and could
show examples
 drastically improve the living
conditions
 of the people. In conclusion, I feel it is very important for the government to be spending on their science program, because
due to
 the increase in global warming on
earth
, the
conditions
 are slowly becoming inhabitable and
therefore
 it is necessary to find an alternate planet which would be able to support
life
, for the continuation of the human race.
Submitted by Nigelvictorlawrence on

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task response
Ensure all points directly relate to the advantages and disadvantages of spending money on space exploration. Providing more specific examples would enhance the response.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Improve coherence by ensuring smoother transitions between ideas.
task response
The essay effectively presents arguments on both sides of the issue of spending money on space exploration.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and effectively summarize the main points of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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