IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

"Air pollution in major cities is a significant issue. What are some potential causes of this problem, and what strategies can be implemented to tackle it?"

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In the modern world,
air
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pollution
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 is a very important problem
due to
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 its effects on health.
And it
Correct word choice
It
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 is very dangerous for the environment, and in
this
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 essay, I am going to talk about what causes it and what we can do to reduce
air
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pollution
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. All in all, atmospheric defilement mainly results from the release of pollutants into the
air
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.
Such
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 waste incineration releases hazardous substances into the
air
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,
such
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 as gases from volcanic eruptions.
Manufactures
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Manufacturers
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 affect the
air
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 through the production of poisonous gases. And it appeared with the results of transport. Basically, in urban cities, where car ownership rates are higher as compared to other areas, they isolate carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide, and various oxides of nitrogen. At the same time, buildings isolate large quantities of dirt.
As a result
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, wind dust spreads into the environment. In fact, in some of Uzbekistan's regions, cases of high contamination with RM10 have been reported.
Furthermore
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, that’s got more solutions.
Firstly
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, people need to use eco-friendly energy. Reducing reliance on fossil fuels and transitioning to clean energy sources like wind, solar, and hydropower can significantly reduce
air
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pollution
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 from power generation. And we need to increase public transportation. Developing an efficient and affordable public transportation system can reduce the number of cars on the road, decreasing
air
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pollution
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. In conclusion, the main reasons for the release of pollutants into the
air
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 and the solutions are to transition to clean energy and improve public transportation.
Air
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pollution
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 is a widespread and terrible problem.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a logical sequence of ideas and provide clearer transitions between them. Avoid disconnected statements and strive for flow within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Expand the introduction to include a clearer thesis statement that outlines the essay's structure. Similarly, provide a more substantial conclusion that extends beyond restating the initial points.
task achievement
Each main point should be elaborated with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments. Use concrete instances where possible.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. Make sure to analyze both causes and solutions to air pollution in a balanced manner. Do not focus disproportionately on one aspect over another.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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