In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation

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Having to own a home might be preferable for folk in some countries, rather than renting one.
This
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might be
due to
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properties being seen as an investment rather than needs.
This
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situation could have unprecedented implications for cities, causing urban sprawl and unaffordable housing. One of the reasons
people
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own a home is that they believe that housing is a good investment.
This
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might be true as housing prices have always been on the rise for the past decades.
This
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is caused by the ever-increasing population,
while
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on the other hand
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, the land is finite. Obviously,
people
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would take a chance to buy a house as soon as they can afford it when the price is still lower. To make it worse, there are
people
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who bought properties without using them. When
people
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collectively buy houses, new plots of land would be
then
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commissioned to accommodate those housing needs. If
this
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keeps on going, eventually the
city
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will need to expand their residential area far from the
city
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centre. There are a lot of implications to
this
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. Traffic congestion will become more prominent as more
people
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travel from
sub-urban
Correct your spelling
suburban
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areas to the
city
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centre.
Also
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, residential development is often built in reserved nature areas, disrupting existing biodiversity in the region. At
this
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point, housing in the
city
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centre would be too expensive for many. The behaviour of buying houses as a form of investment might have unpreferred impacts on cities. They require the
city
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to expand
further
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and occupy more land.
On the other hand
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, when it comes to renting, it is often provided in apartments or other denser buildings, eliminating all the issues caused by buying houses.
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Introduction
There should be a clear introductory paragraph that sets the context for the essay and clearly states the writer's position. While an introduction was attempted, it was rather vague and did not outline the direction of the essay effectively.
Logical Structure
Ensure logical sequencing of ideas. Ideas were presented; however, they lacked a coherent flow, and the linkage between them was somewhat abrupt.
Conclusion
A conclusion should summarise the main points of the essay and restate the writer's opinion. There was no distinct conclusion in this essay, and the reader is left without a clear sense of closure.
Supported Main Points
Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and be developed with supporting details, facts or examples.
Complete Response
The response to the task should be complete with the writer's position clear throughout the essay. The response here was somewhat tangential and did not address both parts of the question adequately.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Ideas and arguments should be explained comprehensively with a balance of general views and specific details.
Relevant Specific Examples
Relevant examples should be provided where necessary to support arguments. More specific examples or evidence would have reinforced the ideas presented.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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