IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Humans are basically selfish. Write a paragraph about 300 words to state that whether you agree or disagree with the statement. Include examples and illustrations to support your viewpoint.

#humans #paragraph #illustrations #support
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People tend to be
selfcentered
Correct your spelling
self-centred
self centered
.
This
 is a general opinion
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 can be adopted by many differently depending on how they perceive others.
Personaly
Correct your spelling
Personally
Personal
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss
in
Correct pronoun usage
this in
show examples
Correct your spelling
opposition
oposition
Correct article usage
the oposition
show examples
 of
this
 statement.
To begin
 with,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 bigger percentage of the population is guided by
religeous
Correct your spelling
religious
 values that support peace, love and harmony in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.We all belong to a social group
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 has clear norms to ensure
peaciful
Correct your spelling
peaceful
 co-existence among its folk.Selfishness is a
devinder
Correct your spelling
defender
 of the community and all
cogregations
Correct your spelling
congregations
 despise those people who
posess
Correct your spelling
possess
such
 a
charactor
Correct your spelling
character
 or even rebuke them in an attempt to correct
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
them.
For example
,a group leader who always
consinder
Correct your spelling
consider
considered
 himself
first
 when opportunities
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will soon be rejected by the members.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 he can be demoted or expelled.
This
 will seclude him from interacting with other people
hence
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 him live in isolation.
Therefore
,individuals
upholds
Change the verb form
uphold
show examples
 generosity,care and compassion towards each other for the fear of being treated badly by others.
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 egocentrism is a personality deviation
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 is assumed by a small group of persons who
for
Correct your spelling
form
show examples
 a
reason
Replace the word
reasonably
show examples
 experienced harsh interaction with their environment.During childhood when we are assuming the learned behaviours which later translate to personal traits and
charactors
Correct your spelling
characters
,the
sorrounding
Correct your spelling
surrounding
surroundings
 and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 impact on our early life
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 a big role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 what we shall be like when we grow up.For,instance,those children who grow in a big poor family where all resources are not enough will develop
fixation
Correct article usage
a fixation
show examples
 whereby they will always seek satisfaction
first
 before sharing because they think that they may not get another chance like that again.
This
 aspect will later mature to selfishness if not tamed
promptyl
Correct your spelling
promptly
. In conclusion,being selfish is an evil practice and should be avoided at all
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
.Those who practice it should be admonished to repent and adopt healthy interpersonal relationships.
Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on

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