In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
The
message
that children
can achieve anything if they try hard enough is often considered an uplifting and motivational sentiment. This
notion of perseverance and determination can be a powerful tool for inspiring children
to pursue their goals and reach their full potential.
One advantage of giving children
this
message
is that it helps instill
a strong work ethic. By encouraging Change the spelling
instil
children
to put forth effort and determination, they are more likely to develop a growth mindset and embrace challenges as opportunities for growth. This
kind of mindset can help them in their future endeavors
, whether it be in their personal or professional lives. Another advantage is that it can boost Change the spelling
endeavours
children
's confidence and self-esteem. When children
feel that they have control over their future and that they can make a difference in the world, they are more likely to feel good about themselves and their abilities. This
can help them to develop a positive self-image, which can be beneficial in many aspects of life.
However
, there are also
some disadvantages to this
message
. For one, it can put an unnecessary amount of pressure on children
. If they are told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough, they may feel that they have failed if they don't achieve their goals. This
can lead to feelings of disappointment, frustration, and low self-esteem. Additionally
, this
message
may not always be realistic. Some children
may face obstacles that are beyond their control, such
as socioeconomic barriers, learning disabilities, or other challenges. When children
are told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough, they may feel discouraged when they encounter these types of obstacles, leading them to believe that they are not capable or smart enough.
In conclusion, while
the message
that children
can achieve anything if they try hard enough can be a powerful tool for inspiring children
, it is important to be mindful of the potential disadvantages. It's important to balance this
message
with realistic expectations and a supportive environment that encourages children
to take on challenges,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
provides them with the resources and support they need to overcome obstacles and reach their full potential.Submitted by dilmurodmingishov on
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Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic with a clear introduction, well-supported main points, and a thoughtful conclusion. To enhance clarity and depth, consider incorporating more varied sentence structures and specific, real-world examples to further illustrate your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows good coherence and cohesion, with a logical flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next. For further improvement, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to more clearly connect your ideas and arguments.
Task Achievement
You've done an excellent job establishing a balanced view on the advantages and disadvantages of the given statement, which enhances the completeness of your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, clearly presenting the topic and summarizing your argument, contributing positively to the logical structure and the presence of an introduction and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.