Write about the following topic: Many major cities are facing a housing crisis as they cannot provide enough land for new buildings. Some local governments believe the problem could be solved by reassigning park land for residential development, because this land would be better used for housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, there is a significant problem in a lot of big
cities
. Use synonyms
This
problem concerns the lack of land for building construction. Linking Words
However
, a solution that has been proposed by governments is the use of parkland for housing development. In my opinion, Linking Words
this
initiative is excellent and there are lots of reasons for it to happen and, indeed, it is necessary to occur soon.
Linking Words
Firstly
, one of the most important reasons for using parkland to build buildings is the fact that more and more Linking Words
people
go to live in big Use synonyms
cities
because there are more choices and, of course, better salaries than in small Use synonyms
cities
. Use synonyms
Thus
, those Linking Words
people
should rent an apartment to live in. If there aren't a lot of blocks of flats to cover the needs of those Use synonyms
people
, they will be forced to seek a job position abroad. Unfortunately, Use synonyms
this
will result in our country losing lots of scientists and, in general, humans who want to work.
Linking Words
In addition
, some Linking Words
people
believe that Use synonyms
this
government's idea will decrease the parking positions and residents will not know where to Linking Words
park
their cars. Use synonyms
This
belief will not be real because it is predicted to make a lot of Linking Words
park
positions for every block of flats which will be built. Use synonyms
Thus
, everyone, who wants to Linking Words
park
in that area, will have the opportunity to own a private parking position which they have only for them. Use synonyms
Additionally
, they will not need to search around the area to Linking Words
park
as they may have in the past.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that Use synonyms
this
initiative not only will help Linking Words
people
from other Use synonyms
cities
to find an apartment to live in more easily but, of course, Use synonyms
people
who live in those neighbourhoods, will have a parking position next to their houses as they had. Use synonyms
Finally
, governments should make Linking Words
this
initiative soon.Linking Words
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task achievement
Your essay responds to the task and covers the main points, yet it would benefit from more specific examples to strengthen your argument. Including examples such as a city where parkland has successfully been converted would enhance your response.
coherence
To improve coherence, focus on creating clearer transitions between your paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next. For instance, the transition between discussing housing needs and parking concerns could be made more seamless.
coherence
Although your main points are clear, they could be further supported with more detailed explanations or evidence. Expand on your points to improve the depth of your argument.
coherence
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good framework for your essay, setting out your stance and summarizing your points effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the key issue of the housing crisis and proposes a relevant solution, showing a solid grasp of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example