IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In Some countries,people follow the latest fashion and hairstyles. In your opinion,what is influencing this? Is this a good or bad thing?

#countries #people #fashion #hairstyles
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the age of modernization and globalization,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to be more interested in eye-catching
clothes
Use synonyms
 and hairstyles, especially among the
youngters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
. In my point of view, it is a result of the way that influencers are making
impact
Add an article
an impact
show examples
 on the world.
However
Linking Words
, it is bringing about advantages and disadvantages as well.
Linking Words
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 to talk about is what stands behind those trends. It is the age of
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 when almost everyone spends a lot of their time on social media.
Therefore
Linking Words
, only after
one
Use synonyms
 night, an outfit or a hairstyle can become popular and are considered to be the model of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
beauty.
For instance
Linking Words
, after Kanye West publicized his music video with the appearance of the
Yezzy
Correct your spelling
Yeezy
 shoes, it is immediately considered to be the universal shoes. Another
explaination
Correct your spelling
explanation
 for
this
Linking Words
 trend can
be film
Change the verb form
be filmed
show examples
. When someone is into a film, they want to be exactly the same
their
Change preposition
as their
show examples
 favourite characters in
this
Linking Words
, from hairstyles or
clothes
Use synonyms
. Take Squid Game as an example, no
one
Use synonyms
 can imagine that a prisoner costume is a trend of
fashion
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, after the unimaginable success of
this
Linking Words
 film, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 seek
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
clothes
Use synonyms
 on
commercial
Add an article
the commercial
show examples
 market, and the
red-colored
Change the spelling
red-coloured
show examples
 hair of the main character in Squid Game is listed as the hairstyle of the month too.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I think
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 drawbacks completely outweigh the benefits.
First
Linking Words
, it is alleviating the uniqueness in
fashion
Use synonyms
.
Fashion
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 a way that
people
Use synonyms
 convey their meanings. Through what kind of
clothes
Use synonyms
 that
people
Use synonyms
 wear, we can guess a lot about that
one
Use synonyms
. And when everyone looks exactly the same, it's like we are wearing uniforms, not
clothes
Use synonyms
 anymore.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, following the
Correct your spelling
latest
show examples
lastest
Correct your spelling
latest
show examples
fashion
Use synonyms
 and hairstyles is
such
Linking Words
 a waste of money. We have to pay for uncheap trend-catching items, but only after several days, they become out-of-
fashion
Use synonyms
 and we have to spend a huge amount of money for the
next
Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
instead
Linking Words
 of copying the styles of the others, we can have our own styles, and they are what symbolize for us.
Submitted by minhneuforworks on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: