IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#education #schools #students #money
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It is an undeniable fact that managing
money
 is an important life skill which must be acquired by everyone. Every student should learn and acquire the knowledge and skillset to manage their finances.
However
, I firmly believe that financial
education
 must be a mandatory subject in school. In the section
underneath
Rephrase
below
show examples
,
this
 essay shall propagate the plethora of reasons why financial
education
 should be included in the school curriculum. First and foremost,
money
 management will help
students
 to understand the value of
money
.
Students
 will learn to manage budgets, investments and finances at a younger age which will help them to make their future decisions.
This
 knowledge will
also
 help them avoid falling into any kind of debt and overspending.
Additionally
,
this
 can help
students
 to develop critical thinking skills.
Money
 Management will not only help in keeping
students
 debt-free but
also
 can be beneficial in decision-making and planning
This
 will make the financially savvy consumers.
Nevertheless
, financial
education
 in school not only helps in their personal growth but will be advantageous for society as well.
This
 can help in reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poverty and financial inequality.
Students
 who learn
money
 management at a younger age will be more likely to have a successful financial future.
To conclude
, financial
education
 is a vital component of a well-rounded
education
 that fosters
students
 for the challenges and responsibilities of adulthood. I would recommend that educational ministers should encourage to integrate the financial
education
 into the curriculum and
this
 will not only empower
students
 and be beneficial in future financial planning but
also
 be advantageous for society.
Submitted by TANULUTHRA95 on

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay maintains a clear position throughout and that it addresses the prompt directly at all times.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and discourse markers appropriately to indicate the relationship between ideas, but do not overuse them to the point of redundancy.
task achievement
While general points about financial education are well articulated, work on providing more detailed and specific examples to support the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial literacy
  • Mandatory
  • Budgeting
  • Economic stability
  • Fiscal health
  • Credit
  • Interest rates
  • Investments
  • Curriculum
  • Informed decisions
  • Personal debt
  • Savings
  • Taxes
  • Expenditures
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Money management
  • Financial planning
  • Economic education
  • Financial competence
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