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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that healthcare should be free for everyone; other things that people should pay for their medical cost themselves discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #healthcare #cost
It is argued that all humankind should have free access to medical treatment, others believe that they should spend money to access healthcare.
This
 essay will discuss both views, and I will argue that medical services should be free. On the one hand, healthcare should be free and equally available to everyone because the government already takes high amounts of taxes from the income of people to maintain hospitals and the systems.
This
 means that it is crucial for the national authority to provide
such
 care for free.
Consequently
,
this
 can lead to a positive impact on the well-being of the citizens of a country and they can easily access treatment.
For example
, hospitals in European countries provide free services to everyone because a 20% tax is taken off their earnings.
On the other hand
, others support the notion that people should be responsible for their treatment costs. The reason is that some wealthy individuals can afford to spend since they have higher wages.
Therefore
, they can afford to go to specialists and private doctors for regular checkups.
As a result
, they can substantially decrease the overload of patients on waiting lists who require hospitalizations and urgent care. In conclusion, it is significantly important that medical services USE SYNONYMS convocationdawninggraduationinitiationkickoffonsetoutset It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score. should be free, especially to those who are on a low income and pay taxes to the government. Those who earn high wages should pay for private care in order to decrease the burden on the medical system.
Submitted by sara.elkhansa on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your main points with specific details or examples to make your argument more compelling. For instance, instead of just mentioning that European hospitals provide free services, you could explain the benefits that come from such a system.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For example, include transitional phrases like "Furthermore," "Additionally," or "On the contrary," to make your essay flow better.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This contributes positively to coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You present both points of view before giving your own opinion, which demonstrates a balanced approach and addresses the task requirements effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal healthcare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • public health
  • innovation
  • government expenditure
  • personal responsibility
  • preventive care
  • taxation
  • medical infrastructure
  • health equity
  • healthcare system
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