IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries married couples plan to have a baby at a later age due to the demands of their professional career. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of it and give your opinion

#countries #couples #plan #baby #age #demands #career
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It is undeniable that in the present day, many
people
Use synonyms
 have concerned about their life more than in the past, especially
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 having a
baby
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.
For instance
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, in the past, many
people
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 after they get married,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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just go for
Use synonyms
baby
Correct article usage
a baby
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, but in the present after getting married many couples usually plan to have an infant after five or ten years due to many reasons,
such
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 as demands of their career, financial stability, and age. The following paragraph will be discussing the
advantaged
Correct your spelling
advantages
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 and
disadvantages
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 of
this
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 decision.
Therefore
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, my opinion and the conclusion have been reached. On the one hand, I believe that
this
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 decision has many advantages for parents and their
Use synonyms
baby
Fix the agreement mistake
babies
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.
For example
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, parents will have afforded to work
hark
Correct your spelling
hard
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 for
their
Change the pronoun
the
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 stability of their career,
such
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 as salary that will
related
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be related
relate
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 to
income
Add an article
the income
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 of the family, job security, and their position.
Other
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Another
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 reason is usually many
people
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 decided to get married after working for a while and having a
baby
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, but they still need to learn about adult life which is a crucial thing to have for teaching their children.
Moreover
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, according to the research, many children that have their
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 at
later
Correct article usage
a later
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 age could be more beneficial than young
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 due to
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
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 stability and attitudes of parents.
However
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, even coin has two sides of its,
this
Linking Words
 statement has
disadvantages
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 of its.
Firstly
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, there will be a problem for the parent because their healthy, usually the human body is perfect to have a
baby
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 around 20 – 35 years old, after these ages the human body will start to have
a
Remove the article
apply
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disfunction in the body system.
Secondly
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, many
people
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 at later ages are in a crucial position which
is require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
 high responsibility in their job,
this
Linking Words
 might be made them not have time for their
baby
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. In summary, from the latter and former paragraphs,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 all of the advantages and
disadvantages
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. In my
opinions
Fix the agreement mistake
opinion
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, I believe that the advantages slightly outweigh
Use synonyms
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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 because
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
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 the
modern day
Add a hyphen
modern-day
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, there are some medical technologies that have been developed for those
people
Use synonyms
 to resolve their healthy for having a
baby
Use synonyms
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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