Some people think that the government should be responsible for improving public health. Others, however believe that everyone in the community should take part in this issue.

At the present, public
health
is one of the most important issues that every country should concern about it, Some
people
think that government should take place and be responsible for public
health
, while others think that improving public
health
should be a part taken by everyone in the community too. In the following paragraphs, both of these viewpoints will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached. It is true to say that governments have an important role to develop public
health
. They should provide a clean environment and increase sport
facilitys
Correct your spelling
facilities
such
as parks and swimming pools in order to encourage
people
to exercise.
Moreover
, the authorities should provide
health
care policy because it is a basic right that every human in the community should deserve.
However
, everything that government do might not work if
people
do not take care of their habit. There is an important thing for everyone to be responsible for their body. Individuals should have good lifestyles
such
as eating healthy food , having a balanced diet and taking sufficient rest.
In addition
, they should consult a doctor every year and have a medical check-up to see if their body is still fit and
also
to maintain their body. In conclusion, both governments and individuals have a great impact on improving public
health
. While governments take serious actions on these issues,
people
should pay more attention to
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
care of themselves. Doing these things can lead to a healthy community in the future.
Submitted by iceyanin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: