IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of playing sports and participating in physical exercises.

#sports #exercises
As a rule, anything
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 Earth has
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
show examples
 benefits and drawbacks, the same with physical activities. For the most part, I believe that
sport
 transmits
mailnly
Correct your spelling
mainly
 good habits and positively influences to various aspects of life.
On the other hand
,
over done
Correct your spelling
overdone
show examples
 heavy and daily exercises could bring negative sides. If
person
Add an article
a person
show examples
over did
Correct your spelling
overdid
show examples
 with
sport
,
then
, it would be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 their
health
. A common opinion is that
sport
 affects
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mental
health
.
This
 has been
researching
Wrong verb form
researched
show examples
 and became widespread for the
last
 decades. When a person
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 physical movements, the state of a person`s emotional and psychological
well- being
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
 rises.
Consequently
, willingness to live and create something increases. As far as I know regular
sport
 activity not only keep on tonus and ensure but helps to regain
health
. That might be one
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct article usage
the way
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to recover from illnesses.
Moreover
, it is generally convinced that
sport
 can contribute to
keep
Change the verb form
keeping
show examples
 fit
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Also
, provides
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
beautiful skin and
shape
Correct article usage
the shape
show examples
 of
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
.
However
,
slim
Correct article usage
a slim
show examples
 body would be unless over
flexed
Add an article
the flexed
a flexed
show examples
 stick.
Correct your spelling
Overdoing
show examples
Over doing
Correct your spelling
Overdoing
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
exercises left own footprint
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
health
. That will be disclosed
through
Change preposition
over
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time.
For instance
, professional sportsmen have a huge
health
 risk.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 time to time feel
health
 issues. By and large, regular physical activities are interesting if
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 finds suitable ones.
Submitted by shamshyrakzhanibekova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: