Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Several musicians advocate for various adaptations within music, positing that it facilitates global connections. I align with
this
assertion, as I believe that melodies possess the capacity to unite individuals from varying cultural backgrounds and promote mutual understanding.
Initially
, the most compelling attribute of music lies in its timelessness. Regardless of the listeners' linguistic backgrounds and ages, melodies can convey profound emotional expressions and elicit contemplative reflections from audiences, even after extended periods.
For instance
,
although
the song "We Are the World" was composed over five decades ago, its message of altruism continues to resonate, as it remains a staple in numerous charity events.
In addition
to its enduring nature, the characteristic of melody that enables the unification of diverse cultures is its accessibility. The repetitive hooks in songs are specifically crafted to be memorable for listeners. With the proliferation of social media, these tunes can become ubiquitous.
For example
, the song "Let It Go," featured in a successful Disney film, has been widely played and sung across virtually all television shows and retail establishments. Some content creators on YouTube have even expressed experiencing a form of aversion to
this
song
due to
its pervasive presence. Some historians may assert that songs can represent a form of cultural imperialism, potentially leading to the decline of local musicians who face limited promotional opportunities.
However
, I perceive
this
viewpoint as an overly critical lens through which to regard the cultural vitality and richness that a nation can embody. To exemplify, though there are relatively more hit songs exported from developed countries, seldom can they equal the achievement of the masterpiece coming from the Middle East, "Despacito". The work was originally completed and
got
Verb problem
was
show examples
well spread all over the Middle East at the beginning,
then
another famous singer from America, Justin Bieber, remade it into an English version and even brought the cultural features from the Middle East to America.  In conclusion,
while
some instrumentalists perceive music as a conduit for interconnection with others, cultural preservationists might view it as a potential threat to cultural integrity. I resonate with the former perspective, believing that melodies not only provide solace to audiences but
also
highlight the uniqueness of individual cultures.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clear comprehensive ideas
Make sure to maintain consistent clarity in your arguments. At times, the explanations can be slightly convoluted. Simplifying some sentences can enhance readability.
relevant specific examples
While you provided relevant examples, ensuring that all examples directly and unmistakably support your main points can add more robustness to your arguments.
supported main points
Your essay effectively discusses the capacity of music to unite people, and it offers several pertinent examples to illustrate your points.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, framing your essay's central argument effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: