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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that the purpose of prison is to punish, while others argue that rehabilitation is its primary role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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A serious public discussion about
role
Add an article
the role
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 of
Use synonyms
prison
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the prison
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 exists in modern society, especially in those, which claim to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humane
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. A majority of people consider that
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 purpose is punishing, others believe that correction of bad social
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 the goal of
such
Linking Words
 places. We try to advert to both matters in
this
Linking Words
 essay. From the very beginning of the
first
Linking Words
 states and laws, a jail was invented as a way to impose penalties for those who dare to break the rules. Severe conditions of
imprisoning
Replace the word
imprisonment
show examples
 aimed to make criminals suffer and to send a clear message to other people to be law-abiding and prevent them from committing crimes.
For example
Linking Words
, some Asian countries have managed to almost defeat the problem of drugs distribution by implementing quite strict laws with long
prison
Use synonyms
 terms.
However
Linking Words
, recently there is much talk about
humanitarian
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the humanitarian
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 mission of
prison
Use synonyms
 as a place for rehabilitation and fostering socially approved
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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. Developed countries have realized the fact that suffering in jail
do
Change the verb form
does
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 not provide redemption at all,
Linking Words
instead
Add a comma
,instead
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 it destroys a person’s mind/
phsyce
Correct your spelling
psyche
. We can see that a softening of prisoners’ life in some
Europe
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European
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 countries shows good statistics in decreasing secondary convictions.
In contrast
Linking Words
, about 90% of criminals returned to jail and became
a
Correct article usage
apply
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repeated
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repeat
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offender
Fix the agreement mistake
offenders
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.
This
Linking Words
 example shows that the correction of convicts is more a question of political will and priorities. To conclude,
prison
Use synonyms
 is historically supposed to be a kind of institute of punishment, but in my point of view, in nearest
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
 the civilized world must establish the proper conditions in prisons for rehabilitation of those who slipped up and made a mistake.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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